Session 12

Deep(gnomish) Thoughts (a letter to Grandma Sniflbrifligronsdimanida)

Dear Grandma

I’ve been questing for some time now. Ever since that vile Beholder caught me, I wondered if I would ever find my brother. Well, finally he came to me in the lair of the beholder with a bunch of travellers. One of them was a creature of legend. We Svirfneblin all know him, as his strenght reached the bones of the earth and his deeds were unmatched. A 9 feet tall Goliath called Gorm, known by all the savants, feared by all who would dare to come within reach of his sword. Abashed I have to tell you: I’ve seen his legend end. The Beholder was at his best, trembling in fear and flying high, invisible. Then the disgusting creature focussed all of his deadliest rays on the Goliath, reducing him to ash. And thus the Legend ended, and the world is a sadder place now. My sadness lastet at least three seconds after the Beholder was banished. Then I realized I was free and also, that I had found my brother. Until he ran off, without even seeing me. His companions were perplexed as well. Then they shrugged their shoulders, saying something like “Well, it’s Bert. Who will ever know his ways?”. I for myself found that, lacking in strenght, I would do well with some muscle as company, albeit very dumb muscle. So I joined them. You can’t imagine how tedious it can be to travel with creatures that lack even the smallest understanding of the world. I miss Bert. Well, at least they are friendly, and none can ever doubt their battle prowess.

On our way through the dungeon we circumvented two fleshgolems a few times.

In one room I began to doubt my sanity. It was a room with curtains, depicting disturbing but somehow funny behaviour of humans. Suddenly Ignatius wanted to stick his head into the mouth of a boar head and he couldn’t be persuaded to let go of his desire. We were severely cursed, because everything we tried to achieve failed. Tried to pull the Aasimar away and failed. We tried to lift the curtains and failed. We pulled again and failed. We worked illusions and failed. Then we pulled some more and failed. We tried to use a rope together and failed. We pulled some more and failed some more. Then I thought “What would Bert do?” and I ignited the Boar head. After a very short time, the head was burnt and Ignatius free. Well. Bert, where in the depts of rock ARE you? We found 150 GP and an eyepatch with a jewel.

In a room with a Frogemothsarcophagus – one of the gods that were kept in the dungeon – we had to solve a riddle, donning frogmasks, tossing coins around, lighting a candle, killing a rat and the like. The Froggygod bestowed Ignatious with incredible strenght and a powerful slimy cloak.

Grandma, you know that I was ever the beauty of our familiy. NOT. So no wonder that my Charisma failed me, when I looked into a mirror. I was immediately caught in an extradimensional prison. Only the shattering of the mirror helped. I was free, toghether with two humans, a minotaur, a shapeshifter, a drow, a troll, a gargoyle and a skirge. All stuck in a 3x3 room. fortunately I could sneak out and seal the chamber with a wall of force after Ignations worked his fire wall magic. We helped the minotaur and the remaining human to finish off the other creatures. First I thought this was a great achievement, but the Human and the Minotaur were of Old Omu and could hardly articulate themselves, even with the froggegod helping to translate. We let them go with best wishes, and so they went to die elsewhere. The Drow by the way tried to get the better of us by teleporting and then ambushing us. He died faster than he could say “Menzoberranzan”. One less Drow to worry about.

I finish my letter to you by saying, that I’m wearing a crown with a black opal right now from a wizard of old. Thought it has no magic properties, it matches well with my greygreen head plate. We had to kill 12 Undead creatures that tried again and again to do some horrendous psychic damage. They failed at least 30 times and I get the impression, that the curse I talked about earlier (of course nothing but superstition) has been liftet. Learning Stoneshape while resting helped a lot to not lose an arm in this room of no escape.

I continue looking for my brother.

Until next time, good rock to you

Bort