Player Session 46

Player Session 46

Session 46

Having left on the afternoon (sand)Tide, the wind blows from the North as we head towards the Southwest into what will likely prove to be a pile of shit………undead shit. That’s the worst shit. As we travel forth we see off to the West that the smoking from Fire Mountain has stopped. That’s probally good,……right? I mean how bad could it be? We are merely seeing burning fire ship every night, and getting into a ship just like that and heading towards a place we know was on fire and burning,……cannot in my mind think of how this could go badly……I might need to start drinking.

Of Course right outside of Town there would be Skeletons,………Why WOULDN’T there be Skeletons? They probally been sandswimming all night! Fucking Skeletons and their sandswimming! I don’t think they sleep. That has to be an advantage when undead perverts are talking about why they do what they do!

That reminds me, I have now decided to name my Sword, “The Impregnator” and it impregnated a Skelton’s face! With fury! Skeletons where a lot scarier before we started hitting them, not much too them really, might be the dry desert air and all the sandswimming takes something out of them toughness wise. Maybe the dryness weakens the structural integrity of the bone? All in all it seemed like for all the hype and just sheer thrill of battle that gets amped into your blood it didn’t last long, one of them did try to swing at me, which did remind me of a glaring hole in my battlefield strategy, mainly, the not getting hit part. That’s a thing I need to work on, getting hit,……less. Putting that at the top of my to do list, armor doesn’t seem to be the way, maybe some magic like Stohagan has. That seems best.

It must have been a large pod of SandSwimmers, because all three ships got hit.

Gaul got himself a friend, he apparently is into skeletons. He mindmelted one of these skeletons. Maybe it’s like clapping pigeons? You just take them and keep around until they are yours? Then a flying Horse and Man came, got dropped out of the sky (Dinkgus) and hit the ground and disappeared. Despite the massive amount of spells thrown at where he hit immediately after he hit, he then proceeded to kill everyone, set everything on fire and just general mayham. I’m guessing he has possibly 1000 friends. Something bit me, and that’s all I remember for a while.

I wake up to Renelen casting on me. I immediately realize that , Flyee Mc FuckFace also used poison with his darts and his invisible asshole army, so I dig out and drink my potion of “Cure Poison” which fortunately makes me immediately feel better so apparently it was a decent purchase. One of the other ships had a sail set on fire, they got it under control and are still sail worthy. Discussion ensues about what we do now, we have decided to go back, another encounter with the knight will end us.

The fucktards back at Haven seem to be in disbelief that a flying asshole kicked our ass this badly. The ‘High’ Jarl just held up his hands in a stupid “what you want me to do?’’ kind of gesture. Gorm gave us some scrolls to see invisibility, and a fair amount of ‘well I would but the sand in my vagina is about to turn into a desert pearl’ excuses about why he couldn’t come with to help kill Flying McFuckFace. He also didn’t seem to realize that arrogance about intelligence and living in the middle of a fucking endless sanddune doesn’t really equate. But he gave us the scrolls so,…….

We bought all the Cure Poisons the temple had. Just as a “by the by we MIGHT need them’. My vote is to let these people go fuck themselves and we should just sail South. I have been currently outvoted.


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